What do I have to do to be promoted?

Why less qualified leaders will get your promotion.

Have you ever asked yourself, “What more do I have to do to be recognized and noticed?”

Did you ever feel that you could deliver results all day long and still be invisible?

At our core, every one of us wants the same thing: to be seen, valued, and recognized for the difference we make.  Yet sometimes, that’s the hardest thing to achieve, especially for high performers who assume their results will speak for themselves.

It’s not that people don’t respect you it’s that they don’t know you.  And in those quiet moments we can find ourselves wondering,

 It’s not who you know, it’s who knows you. 

Your network and connection are what transform respect into recognition, and presence into influence.”

The Third Dimension of Executive Presence:  Connection

Connection is what transforms respect into recognition, and presence into influence.

This article is part of my ongoing series on Executive Presence:  Turn Competence Into Competence

In the first article, we explored stability the inner steadiness that helps you stay composed under pressure.  The second article we focused on synchrony and the alignment between your intention, your words, and your behavior.

Next, we step into the third dimension: the power of connection and sharing. Connection is what makes your presence felt.

Connection is how credibility and performance becomes influence.

 It’s also how you get recognized, hired, or promoted. 

A few weeks ago, I was interviewing an EVP who was not quite C-Level.  He was laid off three months ago.  When I asked him what held him back from finding his next role, he said, “my connections and my network.” 

He went on to say, that he never focused on developing relationships at work. His wake up call was when a colleague, who he didn’t think was exceptionally bright, was recent promoted to Chairman of the Board.

I asked him, “how did your colleague get there if he wasn’t super bright?”  His answer, “he focused on developing relationships and being connected.” 

This is a great illustration of the third dimension of executive presence, sharing and connecting.

What Gets In the Way?

The two main derailers that get in the way of sharing and connection:

1. Focusing on perfection and performance and getting it right, too much task not enough people. 

2. Confusing sharing, connection, and networking as political or unnecessary: work is work, versus necessary to influence others.  If we want to move ahead we have to be connected, influence others and be savvy with being real. 

Early in my career, I thought credibility came from perfection. If I could prepare more, know more, do more then I’d be taken seriously.  But I was missing the very thing that made me most effective: the ability to connect with my audience while I was delivering my message. 

I see this in so many leaders today. They want to advance, to earn that next role, to be chosen but 

They lead with proof instead of presence. They talk about results instead of relationships.

Connection doesn’t come from performance; it comes from vulnerability. When we try to prove ourselves, we disconnect.  When we share authentically our intent, our lessons, and our why  people lean in.

The Epiphany: How Connection Changes Everything

 I’ve watched this truth play out countless times with the executives I coach. 

There was the VP who was ready for promotion. She hit every goal, delivered every KPI, and assumed her results would speak for themselves. When the SVP role opened, the company went outside.  When we reflected, she said quietly, “I guess no one really knew me.”  She was right.

Her relationships were transactional, not relational. She was respected, but not remembered.

Then there was the fiercely competitive leader a brilliant, driven, but often abrasive leader. He saw leadership as a competition, not a connection. When he realized his peers didn’t trust him enough to support his CEO bid, he faced a difficult choice: stay the same or change.  He stayed the same.  He lost his bid for the CEO role.

Four Shifts to Strengthen Executive Presence Through Sharing and Connection.

We tend to think of executive presence as poise, polish, and precision. But the leaders who truly influence others know that presence is not about perfection it’s about connection.

 If you want to build executive presence focus on building and strengthening your network. In your meetings, presentations balance transactional data sharing with being relational, and and influencing outcome.  You can’t influence others without being connected. 

1.  Build your network

Your peers are an important part of your network… they help develop your brand and are the mouthpiece for the kind of leader and person you are. It’s not just about driving results and being a great leader with your own team, as we know every great basketball team requires interaction and team play. The more you help your peers win, the more they will help you win. Then you need to maintain these relationships after you stop working together.  Maybe 1-2x per year do a simple check-in.

2.     Move From Transactional to Relational

Stop asking only, “What needs to get done?” Start asking, “What do you need to succeed?” “Who can I work with in a win-win way to get there?  Another thing you can do is audit your week. How much time do you spend deepening relationships? Influence is built into conversations while running our business.

3. Move From Respected to Known

Results earn respect. Connection earns trust.

Share your “why.” Let people see what drives you, your purpose, your lessons, your growth. Authenticity makes you memorable. And remember, familiarity breeds advocacy and not complacency.

4. From Command to Partnership

Presence isn’t about control; it’s about collaboration.

When conflict arises, pause before you persuade. Ask a question that invites others in. Reframe competitive moments with, “We both want what’s best for the team.”

And when you see good work, say it …. publicly. Gratitude builds the kind of connection that amplifies influence.

Reflection

In a world that rewards performance, connection is the quiet differentiator that sustains leadership.  It’s what makes people want to work with you, trust you, and follow you.

Because when people feel seen by you, they see you differently.

Are you ready?

If you’re ready to strengthen your presence, elevate your visibility, and connect at a level that positions you as the obvious choice for your next executive role — Join me for The Build Your Executive Edge Masterclass. Learn the 3 reasons why high-performing leaders are passed over and how to fix it. 

Enroll Here: https://bit.ly/JanBYEE