When Confidence Collapses Under Pressure

How Self-Doubt Disrupts Executive Pressure and How to Regain Poise

“Executive presence begins where your intention, emotion, and behavior align.” - Susan Robertson

Every leader wants to project confidence under pressure; to be seen as steady, strategic, and composed when the stakes are highest. That’s what creates trust. But what most don’t realize is that confidence isn’t a performance. It’s alignment.

In my last article on Executive Presence: Transforming Competence into Confidence, I shared the story of Jim, an executive I coached into a CEO role.

Jim was smart, capable, and deeply committed to excellence. He had everything the board wanted: results, tenure, and credibility. But in critical moments, when asked questions he wasn’t prepared for, something would shift. His fear would surface. His voice would tighten, his face would flush, and the room would feel it. The board didn’t see a brilliant strategist. They read instability and lack of confidence.

Jim wasn’t lacking competence. He was lacking synchronization, the internal alignment between his intentions and his behavior. His fear gave him away.

 Do you think the board hesitated to see him as the next CEO? Absolutely.

They could feel something they couldn’t name. That’s the hidden cost of misalignment between executive presence and when your fear speaks louder than your credibility.

It’s worth asking yourself:

 Have you ever had a moment similar to Kevin’s, an interview, presentation, or meeting where you knew what you wanted to say, but your nerves, emotions, or self-doubt told a different story?

 The Hidden Disconnect

 Executive presence isn’t about polish. It’s about congruence.

 When who you are, what you believe, and how you behave move as one, people sense it.

They lean in.

But when there’s a gap between intention and behavior, trust erodes. Others may not be able to name what feels off, but they’ll feel it. That subtle lack of alignment, that mismatch between words, tone, and energy, is often what causes even talented leaders to lose credibility in critical moments.

When that happens, credibility quietly slips. The board starts second-guessing. The team reads your stress before they hear your words. You begin to feel the disconnect too, that frustrating sense that you’re not being seen for who you really are and what you are capable of.

 This is often where self-doubt begins to multiply. You start asking, “Why can’t they see my value?” when the real question is, “Am I showing it consistently?”

 Pause for a moment and ask yourself:

• When pressure rises, do your actions match your intention? 

• Are you communicating from confidence or anxiety? 

• What subtle signals might you be sending that others are reading before you even speak?

 Sometimes the issue isn’t visibility … it’s emotional vibration.

People respond to what they feel, not just what they hear.

The Paradox of Hiring and Promotions

Here’s the truth few talk about: synchronization and inner alignment directly shapes how you’re perceived in make-or-break moments, such as interviews, board presentations, and promotion conversations.

Decision-makers aren’t only evaluating your experience or credentials. They’re reading your presence.

If your words say “I’m ready for this role,” but your tone, posture, or emotional energy communicate doubt, they’ll sense the disconnect even if they can’t name it.

That’s the paradox of the promotion or  hiring process, you can have the qualifications, the results, even the right answers, yet something in your presence says “not yet.”

Think about it:

1. Have you walked into an interview, a meeting or promotion discussion fully prepared and felt something slip when it mattered most? 

2. What emotion or belief might have been quietly speaking louder than your words?

In interviews, this can sound like over-explaining, talking too much, being too aggressive, or trying to prove yourself, instead of owning your success. In promotion reviews, it can look like hesitating to claim your strategic value. In all cases, the result is the same: you get labeled as “not quite ready,” even when you are.

 Synchrony, or the lack of it, is often the invisible factor that decides who gets hired, who gets passed over, and who earns trust in the first thirty seconds of a conversation.

The Inner Self-Talk

The breakthrough for most leaders comes when they realize that presence isn’t built from the outside in; it’s built from the inside out.

 I often begin coaching sessions with a simple principle: the Law of Cause and Effect.

Every behavior has a cause. What we see in the foreground, a person’s action or reaction, tone, or derailment behavior, is driven by what lives in the background: intentions, beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and unspoken fears and anxiety.

Many leaders operate unconsciously, unaware of the internal dialogue that shapes their outer presence.

When fear, self-doubt, or old narratives drive behavior, operate in the background even small cracks become visible.

That’s what was happening with Jim. His intention was to project composure. His emotion was anxiety. His behavior revealed the truth, and he projected a lack of confidence.

The Signs of Being Out of Sync

You can see this misalignment through behavioral derailers, the patterns described in the Linceis Executive Emotional Intelligence (EEiQ) Profiler. These patterns described Jim’s executive presence derailers. 

●      The Guarded leader who over-controls rather than connects.

●      The Reactive leader who lets stress spill into tone and body language.

●      The Compliant leader who silences their truth to stay “safe.”

When working with clients, we have them complete this assessment to determine the types of hidden beliefs and emotions that may be operating in the background, impacting their ability to lead, influence, and present with confidence and presence.

Other derailer behaviors are being too aggressive or domineering, or having an inability to take on feedback.  Each behavior masks a deeper belief: “I can’t fail.” “I must be perfect.” “I’m not ready.”

The moment those unconscious beliefs surface, executive presence fractures and credibility, promotability, and hireability along with it.

Gaining Internal Alignment

To rebuild inner synchronicity, I ask leaders to recall a moment when their behavior didn’t match their intention. Then we slow it down.

1. What was your initial intention? 

2. What were your supporting and conflicting beliefs about your intentions? 

3. What was your inner feeling? 

4. What were you thinking? What was your inner self-talk? 

5. How did you behave?

When they trace the pattern backward, awareness expands.  From awareness comes choice. That’s when synchronization begins: when your inner dialogue starts serving your highest intention rather than sabotaging it.

Synchronization starts with awareness and intention. I teach leaders to use a simple three-step reflection process:

1. Name the moment. Recall when your behavior didn’t match your intention.

2. Find the belief. What thought or fear was driving your reaction?

3. Reframe the story. Ask, “What would alignment look like next time?”

I’ve seen this shift in leaders like Anthony, who learned to trust his calm authority in the room, and Evelyn, who stopped downplaying her power and began speaking from conviction. Both didn’t learn presence. They aligned it.

Regaining Poise and Confidence

In my last article, I shared that confidence isn’t a performance; it’s alignment. But even the most seasoned leaders lose that connection under pressure.

 Composure, poise, and confidence aren’t something you get back; it’s something you realign. When composure slips, these steps help realign your presence and restore steadiness.

1.    Create Alignment: Pause and Ground. 

Notice when your body tightens, your breath shortens, or your voice wavers. Instead of pushing through, pause. Awareness is the reset button. 2. Reconnect with Your Intention.

Ask yourself, “What do I want to convey right now?” Fear focuses on self; intention focuses on purpose. When you shift from “How am I doing?” to “What impact do I want to make?” energy steadies.

2. Align Thought With Tone

Your words, posture, and energy should tell the same story. Ask yourself, what is your tone saying versus what you are presenting or communicating?  Your tone speaks volumes above your words. 

3.    Reframe Pressure as Presence.

Pressure isn’t the enemy. Misalignment is. When you view pivotal moments as opportunities to connect rather than perform, composure becomes accessible again.

 Life and Leadership

 When your inner and outer worlds align, you don’t have to prove yourself; you project yourself. That’s when interviews shift from performance to presence, and decision-makers stop evaluating you and start envisioning you in the role.

When intention and behavior match, confidence becomes natural. When fear no longer drives you, presence becomes effortless.

This is where true executive presence begins, not in how you perform, but in how you align.

Are You Ready?

If you’re ready to strengthen your inner alignment and build executive presence that inspires trust, join me for the Executive Edge Masterclass, where we’ll explore the frameworks and tools that help leaders synchronize who they are with how they lead so you can be seen, selected, promoted, and hired for the roles you’re truly ready for.