If you’ve ever been passed over for a promotion—or worse, not even considered—you know the ache. It’s not just professional. It feels personal.

Recently, during a mini-workshop, Kaye, a participant, shared something that stopped the room: “I’ve been told more than once: ‘You’re too nice. You need to speak up more.’” She’s struggled with this feedback her entire career. She’s collaborative, loyal, and the first to volunteer for challenging projects without recognition. She believes in letting her results speak for themselves.

I was sitting across from a client when he leaned in and said, “Don’t get to be my age and regret the choices you made.” Years ago, I was working in investment banking, helping my client create an investment strategy for a rollover IRA. As we talked, he pointed toward a nearby group of retirees, sipping coffee and animatedly debating something.